Tag: relationships

You would have way more success with getting couples to the altar on your stupid-ass reality show that I can’t stop watching if you did the following:

1. Start out by having each cast member list out what their emotional triggers are while on camera.
2. Separate out the cast members who actually display a self-awareness of those triggers from those who say things like, “I don’t really have any triggers! I don’t know, I’m just a chill person.”
3. Take the supposedly non-triggery cast members to the local playground and drop them off.
4. Take the people who do display a modicum of self-awareness about their triggers. Pair up people who have complementary triggers, e.g. pair the people who go into fight or flight when stressed with the people who fawn when stressed.
5. Watch the sparks fly.
6. Book the wedding hall.
7. Don’t make yourselves responsible when the divorces roll in.